Saturday, May 06, 2017

Fifty Fingers

I would like to share a blessing I received. My life is full of them, crazy beautiful holy things, a lot of them are not mine to share. This one is.
I was laying naked on a table surrounded by five beautiful people. All of them had their hands on me. My partner, Krista was worried for me, that it would be too much energy for me to hold. It is true that I am wildly sensitive and could be overwhelmed but that is not what happened.
The request I made was to be touched for their own pleasure, not for mine. At the same time, I asked my benefactors to feel for resonance and flow between their hands and my body. What I did not expect was the way they felt and flowed together. It was not choreographed or scripted, there was not even a verbal conversation at any point and yet I felt them playing off of each other as much as with my own body. It was amazing. It was a touch and an attention that I have and long longed for.
It did not feel forced or strained or reluctant or begrudging or of any kind of commerce. I felt no judgment, no expectation, no agenda, no conditions, and no debt of reciprocation. It was just love, pure, juicy, and generous. 
There is more. I love this kind of touch, and yet I am not hungry to get back on that table. Don't get me wrong, I would not turn down such an invitation. But I don't feel that the emotions and sensations I had are dependent on those hands. This was not thirty minutes of feeling the warmth of human kindness only to walk back out into the cold. I learned a new song in that room. A body song that I feel myself humming. It is the kind of song that one never forgets. It is a blessing for my life, not for a moment. I bow in gratitude to those hands and to my body and to the magic that flowed in that room. Thank you. 

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