Friday, April 09, 2010

Only Love

When I was growing up I was awkward.  I was athletically, socially, and scholastically challenged.  I was told that everyone is good at something.  The only thing I seemed to be good at was loving.  I loved deeply and universally, with out judgment or reservation.  Most people, especially people who valued power, success, stability, or even utility were not impressed.  I felt like my only virtue, my only asset in life was as useful as a dandelion puff. I felt lost and alone a lot of the time.  It is little wonder that when presented with affirmations I have held onto them and cherished them like gems.
Over the past decades I have collected some beautiful praise for the life I am trying to live.  This week something really good came in the mail.  I have not heard from or seen Aaron for 14 years.  When I was 21 we lived together for a few months.  When I say lived together I mean we worked, ate, slept (in the same room, not the same bed).  We were in each others literal line of sight all day every day with the sole exception being the use of a bathroom.  We did not know each other or chose to live together.  Our work was rife with rejection and frustration.  There was no space or time to hide, retreat or recover.  This man saw me at my best and worst.  I am enormously grateful to Aaron for being a friend in that crazy and sometimes beautiful situation, and for this letter.

John, ... I wanted to let you know when I first emailed you how much serving with you meant to me.  It is really rare to meet such a good hearted person.  I hope you never lose your awesome capacity for compassion.  I have thought about you a number of times since our mission, on most occasions it was when I needed a boost to my own humanity.  I am really glad I had the chance to meet you.  

Thank you.

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